I stopped writing to-do lists – and learned to enjoy what I’d already achieved

Driven by success, my constant list-making stopped me celebrating my achievements. I found an answer in becoming much more reflective

As the oldest of three daughters, I always felt an acute sense of responsibility and a weight on my shoulders to prove myself. I had to be better than everyone else, excel against the boys and show that I was worthy of my place in the world. Yet, as relatives and strangers speculated over my parents’ future and lack of a son to provide for them in old age, I had a crushing and debilitating foreboding that I would not achieve anything.

Growing up in India, my mother made sure that we had the best education, even as my parents made monumental sacrifices, living in tiny one-bedroom rented houses, with no holidays or luxuries. I was clever and that became my identity. At times I would feel overwhelmed by the pressure to succeed, but with the optimism of youth, I was ready to take on the world. Admitting that I wasn’t coping was never an option.

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